By Mark Pukalo
OK, I finally saw Cats.
Surprisingly, it was only added to the dishonorable mention list. Francesca Hayward being likable as Victoria, the lead cat, saved it from sneaking into the top 15.
This list is never complete, but there were certainly enough bad films in 2019 to fill out 15 spots. ... plus. The Fanatic, Brightburn, Pet Semetary and several others might have made the grade if I chose to waste $1.95 on them at Red Box or came across them on HBO.
Some big stars played key roles in films near the top of my list of stinkers, including Demi Moore, Liam Neeson, Matthew McConaughey (twice) Jesse Eisenberg, Sofia Vergara and Dennis Quaid. Shame on them for not walking out on awful scripts and foregoing the paycheck.
Yes, I'm not big on horror films. They have to be smart and at least somewhat compelling like "Get Out." Very few are good enough to interest me these days.
Thankfully, the only one I spent money on at the theatre came in at No. 12. At least the popcorn was good. But, here you go. Not the worst year for really bad movies, but stay away from these rents.
Dis-Honorable Mention: Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Cats, Crawl, Murder Mystery (Adam and Jennifer can do better), Point Blank. High Flying Bird (Saw this on some best lists. I was totally bored by it), Fractured, In the Shadow of the Moon, Io, Ma, The Platform, 3022, Lucy in the Sky, I See You
15. Terminator: Dark Fate - Some terrible dialogue and acting. Mindless violence and no real heart to the film.
14. Countdown - Pretty Elizabeth Lail saves it from being in the top 10. Just a silly horror movie with an ending that really didn't make much sense.
13. It Chapter Two - Worse than the first chapter. It was 2 hours, 50 minutes of nonsense and stupidity.
12. Captive State - Futuristic science fiction tale with John Goodman and Vera Farmiga that is hard follow, and honestly you really don't care to. Didn't really get the ending either.
11. Glass - A real nasty superhero and some mindless script writing. Expected to dislike it and, Bingo.
10. Hellboy - Thought the big superhero might be some fun, but the film was just filled with violence and gore.You lose track of what's really going on.
9. The Curse of La Llorona - A dreadfully bad horror film. I kept thinking that Tulsi Gabbard was playing the lead character, too.
8. The Beach Bum - Think they were going for a modern day "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" in a way, but it was just McConaughey being flat-out annoying for a couple hours. Snoop Dogg saved it from the top 5.
7. The Intruder - The psychological thriller owns one of the worst scripts of the year and you wonder why this dopey couple could have bought that house in the first place. Quaid is more creepy than he is in those recent commercials.
6. Serenity - A mystery that you don't care about five minutes into the film, and McConaughey along with Anne Hathaway make it worse.
5. The Lighthouse - Rented this recently and fast-forwarded through most of it. Dark, uninteresting and ugly. You actually say at one point, "poor seagull."
4. Bottom of the Ninth - Probably would be No. 1 if anybody had heard about this one. Talented baseball player gets out of jail after a long stint and tries to make the big time again. Bad storytelling and worse acting. Come on Sofia.
3. The Art of Self-Defense - Eisenberg sleepwalks through this boring film as a young man who tries to learn karate to defend himself after being attacked. They call it a black comedy and I guess that means you hate all the characters.
2. Corporate Animals - A supposed comedy that isn't the least bit funny. A group of co-workers get trapped in a cave on a retreat with their boss (Moore) and nothing interesting really happens.
1. Cold Pursuit - Neeson tries hard to soldier through a movie that is poorly written and has some of the worst acting I've seen in a while - especially from the main villain. This becomes the worst film of the year because more was expected from it after the trailer. Let's hope Liam doesn't see this.
PREVIOUS WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR
2018: Mile 22
2017 - Mother!
2016 - 13 Hours and Hail Caesar!
2015 - Chappie
2014 - The Monuments Men
2013 - The Place Between the Pines
2012 - Cloud Atlas
2011 - Tree of Life
This list is never complete, but there were certainly enough bad films in 2019 to fill out 15 spots. ... plus. The Fanatic, Brightburn, Pet Semetary and several others might have made the grade if I chose to waste $1.95 on them at Red Box or came across them on HBO.
Some big stars played key roles in films near the top of my list of stinkers, including Demi Moore, Liam Neeson, Matthew McConaughey (twice) Jesse Eisenberg, Sofia Vergara and Dennis Quaid. Shame on them for not walking out on awful scripts and foregoing the paycheck.
Yes, I'm not big on horror films. They have to be smart and at least somewhat compelling like "Get Out." Very few are good enough to interest me these days.
Thankfully, the only one I spent money on at the theatre came in at No. 12. At least the popcorn was good. But, here you go. Not the worst year for really bad movies, but stay away from these rents.
Dis-Honorable Mention: Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Cats, Crawl, Murder Mystery (Adam and Jennifer can do better), Point Blank. High Flying Bird (Saw this on some best lists. I was totally bored by it), Fractured, In the Shadow of the Moon, Io, Ma, The Platform, 3022, Lucy in the Sky, I See You
15. Terminator: Dark Fate - Some terrible dialogue and acting. Mindless violence and no real heart to the film.
14. Countdown - Pretty Elizabeth Lail saves it from being in the top 10. Just a silly horror movie with an ending that really didn't make much sense.
13. It Chapter Two - Worse than the first chapter. It was 2 hours, 50 minutes of nonsense and stupidity.
12. Captive State - Futuristic science fiction tale with John Goodman and Vera Farmiga that is hard follow, and honestly you really don't care to. Didn't really get the ending either.
11. Glass - A real nasty superhero and some mindless script writing. Expected to dislike it and, Bingo.
10. Hellboy - Thought the big superhero might be some fun, but the film was just filled with violence and gore.You lose track of what's really going on.
9. The Curse of La Llorona - A dreadfully bad horror film. I kept thinking that Tulsi Gabbard was playing the lead character, too.
8. The Beach Bum - Think they were going for a modern day "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" in a way, but it was just McConaughey being flat-out annoying for a couple hours. Snoop Dogg saved it from the top 5.
7. The Intruder - The psychological thriller owns one of the worst scripts of the year and you wonder why this dopey couple could have bought that house in the first place. Quaid is more creepy than he is in those recent commercials.
6. Serenity - A mystery that you don't care about five minutes into the film, and McConaughey along with Anne Hathaway make it worse.
5. The Lighthouse - Rented this recently and fast-forwarded through most of it. Dark, uninteresting and ugly. You actually say at one point, "poor seagull."
4. Bottom of the Ninth - Probably would be No. 1 if anybody had heard about this one. Talented baseball player gets out of jail after a long stint and tries to make the big time again. Bad storytelling and worse acting. Come on Sofia.
3. The Art of Self-Defense - Eisenberg sleepwalks through this boring film as a young man who tries to learn karate to defend himself after being attacked. They call it a black comedy and I guess that means you hate all the characters.
2. Corporate Animals - A supposed comedy that isn't the least bit funny. A group of co-workers get trapped in a cave on a retreat with their boss (Moore) and nothing interesting really happens.
1. Cold Pursuit - Neeson tries hard to soldier through a movie that is poorly written and has some of the worst acting I've seen in a while - especially from the main villain. This becomes the worst film of the year because more was expected from it after the trailer. Let's hope Liam doesn't see this.
PREVIOUS WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR
2018: Mile 22
2017 - Mother!
2016 - 13 Hours and Hail Caesar!
2015 - Chappie
2014 - The Monuments Men
2013 - The Place Between the Pines
2012 - Cloud Atlas
2011 - Tree of Life
