Mary, Indy, Becky, Leo 2023 Medium Honorable Mention

 

 By Mark Pukalo

  Some really good characters, plenty of fun scenes and an abundance of solid documentaries fill this category in my ratings of the 295 films I saw from the Oscar Year 2023.

  I used to just do a high and low honorable mention, but I decided to split the top group and form this list of 40 films that are only a hair below the upper category.

  All of them are worthy of your time if the genre, subject matter and actors suit your tastes, or you have the time to watch hundreds of films per year.

  Nine documentaries lead the list and I learned something from all of them, highlighted by the ones on Judy Blume, Joan Baez, Mary Tyler Moore and Wham! Two other films were stories about real-life people - Bayard Rustin and Reality Winner.

  There were some very likable characters in this category, led by Jules, Leo the Lizard, Lizzy (Michelle Williams) in "Showing Up," Bea (Kiernan Shipka) in "Wildflower," Katrina (Marisa Tomei) in "She Came to Me," young Pauline in "The Taste of  Things" and Becky, who enjoys killing really bad people.

   The best food in a 2023 film goes to "The Taste of Things" - hands down.

   Movies such as "The Wrath of Becky," "Fingernails," "Jules," "Quantumania" and "Cat Person," were panned by many critics, but I thought they had more value.

   The list also includes some films that were good, but I think were over-rated by most critics - "The Zone of Interest," "You Hurt My Feelings," "The Boys in the Boat," and "Nyad."

     But all of them have worth. Check them out and see what you think.

Medium Honorable Mention (Recommended if story suits you) - 42

Ant Man and the Wasp: Quantumania - Scott Lang and wife are dragged into the Quantum Realm and try to get back, but family secrets rear their ugly head. It's fun. Nothing else.

A Thousand And One - Teyana Taylor provides an amazing performance as a young mother just out of prison trying to give her son a chance in the city. It's close to being  really good, but the twist in the script is not executed well enough.

Being Mary Tyler Moore - A nice documentary on one of the first big time female television stars. She was amazing in a lot of ways.

Bruiser - The father of a 14-year old returns to town and it causes major problems for his step dad and mother. Well-done feature.

The Burial - Tommy Lee Jones and Jamie Foxx star in this court case drama based on a true story. Foxx plays a flashy lawyer who helps a long-time Funeral Home owner fight the man.

Bill Russell: Legend of an Age - Interesting and informative documentary on one of the best basketball players and winners in sports history.

Black Ice - Interesting documentary about the evolution issues and racism black players faced in men's and women's hockey. Akim Aliu deserves his own doc, though.

Bank of Dave - Based on a true story of Dave Fishwick, who fought the cheating big banks n London to set up a very successful local establishment in Burnley. Fuck the big banks.

Boston Strangler - An interesting look at the mystery surrounding one of the biggest crimes of all time, with Keira Knightley killing it as reporter Loretta McLaughlin.

The Boys in the Boat - Just your average old-time sports movie where you know what's going to happen. The key is how interesting it is getting there and this movie wasn't quite compelling enough.

Cat Person - Emilia Jones (Coda) stars as a young woman pulled into a relationship with an older man that she later regrets. It is imperfect, but Jones is great and it makes you think.

Earth Mama - A pregnant single mother deals with decisions that are impossible to make. The director left out a back story, which I am 50/50 on. I wanted a little more.

Fingernails - Riz Ahmed and Jesse Buckley add plenty of spark to the interesting concept about compatibility. Marriages are failing and agencies are working on ways to match people in a futuristic society by testing fingernails. It did not quite reach its potential.

Great Photo, Lovely Life - A documentary done by the grand daughter of a man who committed several acts of sexual abuse against children that he mostly got away with. It's shocking and hard to watch, but holds your interest.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - Harrison Ford's greatest character must go back in time to save the world from the Nazis. More fun than the last few in the series.

Infinity Pool - Creepy horror film about rich people inspired by committing violent crimes on a resort island while their clone pays for it. I ain't ever gonna mess with Mia Goth.

Joan Baez: I am Noise - Terrific documentary about the amazing singer and activist. It is very detailed and interesting.

Judy Blume Forever - Strong documentary about the great writer, who was targeted by the Moral Majority when Reagan was elected. She wrote the book that became a wonderful movie - "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."

Jules - I got a kick out of this one about three senior citizens befriending an alien who crash-landed in the backyard. Several big laughs and one of the best throwaway lines of the year. A lady cop, watching three senior citizens scooping up a dead cat off the road (to help fuel Jules' ship) and loading it in the back of their car says - ". ... the fuck."

The Killer - Director David Fincher uses Michael Fassbender as an expert contract killer, who must try to eliminate all loose ends after missing a target.

The League - An interesting documentary on the Negro Leagues. Learned a lot from the story and the interviews.

Leave the World Behind - This psychological drama about an attack that includes the loss of electronic and computer devices has some good moments, but thinks it's a little smarter than it is at times. The ending makes sense, though. I can say I have been thinking about it since, too.

Leo - The 74-year-old lizard is not quite as funny as Marcel, but he is a lot of fun when he escapes a school terrarium. The kids help save him in this very likable cartoon.

Love, Again - It is a bit of a formulaic rom-com at first, but it gets better as it goes along and I always love to see Priyanka Chopra.

Master Gardener - Joel Edgerton is outstanding as a horticulturist with an ugly past who helps a young woman escape the wrath of his mean rich boss (Sigourney Weaver).

Nyad - Annette Bening produces a strong performance as the driven Diana Nyad, who swam from Cuba to Key West over the age of 60. Jodie Foster is also great as her friend/coach.

The Persian Version - The film examines a big Iranian family which emigrates to New Jersey with heart and humor. Layla Mohammedi is terrific as the lone girl in the family, who battles a strained relationship with her mother.

Reality - Re-enactment of the arrest of whistleblower Reality Winner after she leaked one document on Russian interference in the election. It's methodical and detailed while Sydney Sweeney does a good job. 

Rustin - Colman Domingo earned an Oscar nomination as Bayard Rustin, the engine behind the March on Washington for Civil Rights in 1963.

See You On Venus - Virginia Gardner is very good as a smart, young orphaned girl who coaxes a young man going through guilt for an accident to accompany her to find her birth mother in Europe.

She Came to Me - Peter Dinklage plays a struggling opera writer who is freed up after a chance meeting with a strange, but intriguing tugboat captain named Katrina (Marisa Tomei). There are competing plots in this odd little film, but it all comes together at the end.

Showing Up - Michelle Williams is brilliant as a talented, young sculptor dealing with her screwed-up family and life issues. Lizzy is one of my favorite characters of the year.

Somewhere in Queens - Ray Romano stars as a father trying too hard to make things happen for his high school son. It's an old-school Italian family story that is fun to watch.

Stand - Interesting documentary on the life of Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf and how the NBA blackballed one of the greats simply because he wouldn't stand for the national anthem.

Story Ave - Coming of age story about a talented young graffiti artist going through tough times who is put on the right path by a man he tried to hold up.

The Taste of Things - A nuanced love story between a renowned chef and his long-time cook and companion (Juliette Binoche). It is a nice French film with some incredible food. Oh, that chicken looked amazing!

Victim/Suspect - Documentary about the terrible habit some police departments have fallen into by charging victims of rape with lying. It's disgusting. FTP.

Wham! - Really good documentary on the successful, but short-lived, British duo George Michael and Andrew Ridgely.

Wildflower - Kiernan Shipka is pretty, but she is also a very solid actress with good comedy timing. She makes this average film about a young girl dealing with challenging parents quite likable

The Wrath of Becky - Critics panned this bloody black comedy about a teenage girl becoming a vengeful killer of bad guys. I got a kick out of it. It is what it is.

You Hurt My Feelings - A writer (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss) goes through anger after she overhears her husband bashing the latest book she wrote. It's a good movie, but not as funny as advertised.

The Zone of Interest - A film that depicts the casual evil of Germans who worked and lived around Auschwitz. It is worth watching, but I wanted more depth. Didn't understand the blank screens, either.

Cocaine Bear, M3Gan In 2023 Low Honorable Mention

 

    By Mark Pukalo

    Ok, now we get into the better movies.

    This next list could be termed the "near misses." There's plenty to like about some of these films, but they come up just a little short of being recommended. Something is missing, whether the ending is not good enough or the film just fails to reach its potential.

    Cocaine Bear probably should have gone 100 percent comedy, The Covenant could have been made more compelling, Dungeons and Dragons more fun, Knock on the Cabin better during its first hour or so, M3Gan probably should have done more funny stuff, Society of the Snow could have been shorter and Saltburn less bonkers weird (he licked the bottom of the tub?). In addition, 65 could have been a good Science Fiction film with a little more detailed back story and an emotional ending on Earth. We got neither.

   But if you like watching 100s of movies per year and have the spare time, these films might strike your fancy.

    This category may also have the most beautiful women in key roles. 

    The best characters in this group, though, include a wild blue grouper, Chupa, Ember and my man Mario. 

    

Low Honorable Mention (Enough good things for movie freaks) - 79

American Symphony - Interesting documentary about composer/singer Jon Batiste, who is working on a jazz symphony while his wife battles cancer.

Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom - The warring half-brothers get together to try to save the world. It's really not that bad.

At Midnight - Monica Barbaro is stunningly gorgeous. That's all I got. Ok, it's a rom-com that is likable enough, but well short of being original.

Beau is Afraid - Joaquin Phoenix brilliantly plays an anxiety-riddled man who confronts his biggest fears after his mother's apparent death. It just gets too weird at times.

A Beautiful Life - A likeable Danish film about a orphaned fisherman who is gifted with a wonderful voice, but must deal with everything around quick stardom.

Biosphere - The two-man show is certainly unique. They live in a dome after some type of apocalyptic event and things start changing for the fish and one of them. We won't tell what. Could have been better.

Blueback - The daughter of an activist, who befriended a cool wild blue Grouper as a child, works to save the Australian coral reefs from destruction.

Blue Beetle - Expected worse from this new Marvel creation. It was cartoonish and harmless while Bruna Marquezine is an absolute stunner.

Blue Jean - A lesbian PE teacher in England tries to hide her sexual preference from her bosses, but a new student changes everything.

Brother - Non-linear story about a pair of brothers that battle through life's obstacles in Scarborough, Ontario before tragedy. FTP.

The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial - The trial for the second in command of a Navy ship, who replaced a flawed officer (Kiefer Sutherland) after a controversial decision has some intrigue.

Chevalier - Kevin Harrison Jr. is really good while Lucy Boynton and Samara Weaving are gorgeous, but the overall film about the mixed-race maestro did not grab me.

Cocaine Bear - Director Elizabeth Banks probably should have gone 100 percent comedy on this one instead of trying to do both, but it had enough humorous moments to avoid being bad.

The Comeback - Family drama with Taye Diggs is predictable and formulaic, but ultimately watchable. Austin Elle Fisher, the little girl, is really good.

Chupa - Cute story about family, a real mythical creature and wrestling in Mexico. Chupa is a cool little guy.

The Covenant - An Army sergeant (Jake Gyllenhaal) travels back to Afghanistan to try to save his interpreter from enemy forces.

The Deepest Breath - Documentary on fearless free divers, who risk death every day, centering on Italian world-record holder Alessia Zecchini. Much like climbers, they are nuts.

Down Low - A closeted, terminal gay man (Zachary Quinto) spends the crazy day with a young sex worker (Lukas Gage) who he hired for a happy ending. There's violence, surprises and laughs.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - Chris Pine and his gang make an ordinary script fun enough. Sophia Lillis is very attractive.

The Eight Mountains - The story of a long friendship between two boys in the mountains of Italy, which underwent many twists, turns and regrets.

Eileen - A seemingly normal, unassuming small-town girl (Thomasin McKenzie) comes alive when a glamorous woman (Anne Hathaway) begins a friendship with her. It's very dark and it had me until a strange ending.

El Conde - Weird black comedy about a vampire who is finally ready to die after 2,000 years, but is thinking about another life.

Elemental - It's a cute cartoon where opposites attract - Wade and Ember. Leah Lewis - wonderful in "The Half of It" - is the voice of Ember, who is actually hot (LOL).

The End of Sex - Entertaining little film about a couple who are losing their passion for each other, but find it. Emily Hampshire (Schitt's Creek) and sultry Lily Gao shine.

Fast X - Nothing much different about this one. Unrealistic stunts, some fun, beautiful women and not enough to join the top four levels.

Flamin' Hot - Likeable comedy/drama about a Mexican janitor who takes the initiative to help Frito Lay push a product to his community.

Four Daughters - A documentary with re-enacted scenes about a Tunisian mother who lost half of her daughters to the seduction of ISIS. It takes too long to get good.

Freelance - John Cena plays a retired special forces officer who takes a job as security for a reporter (Alison Brie) on a scheduled trip to interview a dictator. Had potential to be so much better. Script held it back.

Freud's Last Session - Anthony Hopkins provides his usual strong performance as Sigmund, but the entirety of the film is a bit dry and plodding.

Godland - A Danish priest goes on a mission to Iceland and stuff happens. I'll admit, I couldn't get subtitles for this one, but I still think critics over-rated it a bit.

Good Grief - Daniel Levy directs and stars in a film about a young man dealing with the death of is husband. Levy, Ruth Nessa and Himesh Patel make it watchable enough.

Happiness for Beginners - Likable Netflix film starring the adorable Ellie Kemper, most prominently from "The Office," as a woman getting over a divorce.

Heart of Stone - Gal Gadot in a somewhat confusing, but ultimately satisfying spy drama. She saves the world in stylish fashion.

Heist 88 - A career criminal pleads guilty, but has one more bank robbery job to do with a group of young people before going to jail.

Hidden Strike - Two former special forces soldiers attempt to transport civilians across the Highway of Death in Baghdad. It's compelling enough and John Cena is very good.

The Hill - The son of a devout preacher has bad legs, a gift for playing baseball, a gorgeous girlfriend and a dream. Predictable, but harmless enough.

Knock at the Cabin - M. Knight Shyamalan's latest is better than his previous two films "Glass" and "Old," but it does not necessarily deliver. The ending kind of makes sense when you think about it, but getting there wasn't all that interesting.

Kokomo City - A documentary about four black trans women, who are sex workers. Saw this on someone's top 10 list for the year, so I checked it out on Showtime. The women had some interesting things to say.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter - Dracula hides on a ship and terrorizes the crew. It was stylish and chilling enough, making it better than expected.

Linoleum - A failing TV scientist (Jim Gaffigan) is battling a mid-life crisis when an old space capsule falls in the backyard of his house. A promising film gets too mystical in the last half hour.

The Little Mermaid - Halle Bailey is sweet and does a nice job as the little mermaid. The story is fine. It just didn't hold my attention enough.

Love is in the Air - Predictable, formulaic love story between two opposites. But it's some harmless fun and you root for attractive Delta Goodrem.

The Meg 2: The Trench - Big, angry beasts terrorize people on the water. Didn't hate it. Didn't like it much.

M3Gan - They try to make the perfect robotic companion for a young woman. What could go wrong, eh? M3Gan is fierce, but more funny than scary.

Memory - Jessica Chastain plays a woman still dealing with bad childhood rape trauma, who befriends a man with Dementia after she first thinks he was a former attacker. I found it a bit illogical. But I guess that's life sometimes.

Missing - Was not nearly as good as the original of these kinds of movies "Searching." A young woman uses all the social tools she can to find her missing mother.

Nimona - Interesting cartoon about a medieval kingdom, which tells the story of a young girl whose shapeshifting magic ostracizes her. A commoner knight tries to save her. It will be too woke for some.

No One Will Save You - Kaitlyn Dever shines in this sci-fi horror film about a town invaded by aliens, as she battles a childhood trauma to survive.

Once Upon a Star - A travelling cinema group goes on a journey through Thailand to bring dubbed movies to the masses. Nuengthida Sophon, the only woman in the unit, is excellent.

Other People's Children - French film tells the story of a 40-year-old divorce woman caring for her boyfriend's child as she runs out of time to have her own. 

Pain Hustlers - Another story about the opioid epidemic, with Emily Blunt in the lead role. It's ok, I guess, and Blunt does the best she can in every way. Some scenes of the Tampa area.

Plane - Pilot Gerard Butler tries to save his passengers after the plane he is flying crash lands on an uncharted island in the middle of a war zone.

The Prisoner's Daughter - A released dying convict (Brian Cox) tries to reunite with his daughter (Kate Beckinsale) and grandson  It's predictable, but well acted.

Rebel Moon Part One: The Child of Fire - First installment of Zach Snyder's sci-fi story was stylish and had decent action, but did not grab me. Sofia Boutella is fierce and compelling, though.

Reptile - Benicio Del Toro is a flawed detective looking into a strange murder case. Justin Timberlake is the mystery boyfriend of the deceased.

Robots - Somewhat funny science fiction film about identical robots of an affluent couple falling in love. Two Shailene Woodleys are better than one.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken - A cute cartoon about a shy young girl who can transform into a giant creature. Harmless and sweet.

The Saint of Second Chances - Documentary about Mike Veeck and his Hall of Fame father Bill was somewhat interesting, but not earth-shattering.

Saltburn - Disappointed in director Emerald Fennell's follow up to "Promising Young Woman," but Barry Keoghan's performance as a smart, but mentally disturbed young man, is outstanding. It's ultimately just too weird for me.

Scream VI - Much better than the last few in the series. It all worked in the end, and it left some openings for the future with Jenna Ortega and Melissa Barrera - maybe..

Sick - A unique slasher film about parents who aim to avenge the young people who helped infect their dead son with Covid. Oops, spoiler alert.

Sly - Pretty solid documentary on Sylvester Stallone's career. I would have liked to see a few more minutes on the Creed series, but it was interesting.

Society of the Snow - The story of the crash of a Uruguayan plane in the Andes during the early 1970s. Amazingly, 16 of the 45 passengers survived in the harsh winter. I thought it was too long and over-rated, though.

Space Oddity - A depressed young man decides to go on a mission to Mars - although it may be a scam - to get away from his troubles, but finds love instead.

Stamped from the Beginning - Documentary about Racism. Thought it was a little harsh with its views at times, but well worth watching and debating.

The Starling Girl - A 17-year-old girl (Eliza Scanlen) struggles with life while growing up in a strict fundamentalist community. Scanlen is excellent. On the edge of being higher.

Strays - Plenty of humor from the stray dogs, but probably a few too many dick and fart jokes for my liking.

The Super Mario Brothers Movie - Cartoon story version of the famous game with Mario getting the job done on a grand stage.

Thanksgiving - A passable slasher film with a lot of gore and a rather surprising resolution. It starts with a violent, but humorous, Black Friday scene.

They Cloned Tyrone - Along the lines of "Get Out," a sinister secret organization is cloning black men and controlling their minds. It is inventive, but did not thrill me overall. 

A Tourist's Guide to Love - Likable love story as Rachel Leigh Cook takes a trip to Vietnam after a breakup and falls for her tour guide. Rachel is still "All That."

Unknown: Cosmic Time Machine - Fascinating documentary about the Webb Hubble Telescope.

We Have a Ghost - Paranormal story about family, a crime and love. It's not special, but it is a very watchable netflix joint.

What Happens Later - Meg Ryan and David Duchovny, two former lovers, meet in a snowed-in airport and rehash their relationship. It gets better, but would probably be better as a play.

What's Love Got to Do With it?  - Devilishly cute Lily James stars as a documentary producer filming her childhood friend agreeing to an arranged marriage by his Pakistani parents. It has its moments, but is kind of convoluted and without clear direction.

Wingwomen - Melanie Laurent stars as one half of a talented badass female heist team, which aims to complete one more big job. It's a buddy movie.

The Year Between - Alex Heller is terrific as a college sophomore whose erratic behavior causes her to decide to move home for a year. Her manic issues continue, but she goes through a myriad of circumstances that force her to grow. 

You Are Not Alone: Chasing the Wolfpack - Documentary about the gang rape at a festival in Spain that sparked protests around the globe.

65 - A near miss of a science fiction drama. Not enough before the space travel and not the tearful, strong ending that it needed. Adam Driver, Ariana Greenblatt and the storyline were fine. Director error.

Some Minor Value In These 2023 Films

 

By Mark Pukalo

When the coveted Oscars are handed out next month, I will have seen at least 290 movies from the year 2023.

It was one of the best of the last 10 years for depth of good or great films. There was also a group of movies that had a few redeeming moments, some nice performances or scenes, but I could not recommend to the average fan.

Best Picture nominee "Maestro" is in this grouping for me, along with the inventive "Skinamarink," beautiful Brie Larson in "The Marvels," and the wacky and occasionally hilarious "Dicks: The Musical." The 63 movies slotted in this category are not bad films and might hit other movie goers better. I just stopped short of sliding them into the lowest honorable mention spot.

The best of these include Ron Perlman's powerful lead character in "The Baker'" the ending of "Book Club: The Next Chapter," the feel-good moments in "Dog Gone," LeBron's house being damaged in "House Party," John Travolta wearing a cowboy hat in "Mobland," the weirdness of "Sick of Myself," and Elena Kampouris' performance in "Vindicta."

Here's the rest of the lowest 111 in 2023. (see worst of 2023 on a previous blog).

Watchable (Only if it's free and you're a movie freak) - 68

A Haunting in Venice - Kind of a snoozer, but it has some star power. Lost interest in this mystery early and did not really care "who done it" by the end.

Assassin - A man dies due to a secret military project gone wrong and his wife is used to find out what happened. Sharp twist at the end saves it from being in a lower category.

The Baker - Ron Perlman is a elderly baker with some special skills, who goes after bad guys to help save his cute grand daughter (Emma Ho). 

Big George Foreman - Story about the former Heavyweight Champion of the World is kinda Disney-like and ordinary. Probably would have been better as a documentary.

Book Club: The Next Chapter - Lots of fluff in this old girls go to Italy fling, but it had a pretty good ending.

Champions - Woody Harrelson coaches a team of down's syndrome basketball players and predictable things happen.

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget - The chickens broke out in the last movie. They break into the farm this time to save their own. It's likable enough.

The Conference - Swedish slasher movie centering around a team-building trip for municipal employees.

Corner Office - Weird black comedy with Jon Hamm narrating his own strange office worker character. Reminded a bit of "Being John Malkovich," but not anywhere near as good.

Crypto Boy - Young man, estranged from his proud father, gets involved in a scheme around crypto currency.

Dicks: The Musical - So over-the-top goofy that it is quite humorous at times. I give them credit for the courage to make a comedy so crude and crazy.

Dog Gone - A father and son repair their relationship while searching for the family's beloved dog. It's afternoon special worthy and the dog is cool.

Emily - The story of Emily Bronte, the author of "Wuthering Heights," and her amazing imagination within her shy nature and sheltered upbringing.

Family Switch - Jennifer Garner and Ed Helms switch bodies with their kids for some mystical reason and it causes a few laughs, but not as many as you'd think.

Fear the Night - Some girls using a house for a bachelorette party are attacked by robbers. It's always fun watching Maggie Q kill nasty men, but not much of a movie.

The Flash - Not as bad as Morbius at least. It had a few fun moments, but this was not an enjoyable Marvel film.

Foe - Weird movie with two fine actors - Saoirse Ronan and Paul Mescal. A stranger shows up at the door of a couple and gives them an offer they literally can't refuse. It's about relationships, but it just gets too vague and confusing.

Fool's Paradise - Great cast, a few laughs, but not nearly enough to make it entertaining. Kate Beckinsale looks fabulous as usual, though.

Golda - Helen Mirren is great as former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir, but the movie is not super interesting as a history piece.

The Good Mother - Hillary Swank plays a mother dealing with the death of a her son. She figures out her other son - a cop - could have been part of why he was killed. It's not clear enough what is going on.

Happy Ending - A couple going through sexual issues decide to have a threesome with a spirited woman and it causes more problems. The characters are less interesting than the premise.

Haunted Mansion - Harmless Disney movie with a really good cast as a dream team tries to fix a ghost problem at Rosario Dawson's home.

House Party - Remix of the 90s classic is likable enough, but not particularly funny. It's cool they messed up LeBron's house, though.

Hypnotic - Mind-bending, somewhat confusing, story about a a rogue government agent using hypnotics to commit crimes. Ben Affleck is in the lead role with a twist.

Inside - Willem DaFoe's virtual one-man show as an art thief who gets locked into his victim's apartment and cannot get out. DaFoe is great, but it never really makes you care.

Kandahar - Recycled story line with Gerard Butler on the run, this time with the Middle East as a background.

Knights of the Zodiac - A passable fantasy adventure for a young man who tries to protect Athena while attempting to find his lost sister.

Lewis Capaldi: How I'm Feeling Now - Documentary about the Scottish artist was not as good as his songs.

Maestro - Terrific acting and well-shot movie based on the life of composer Leonard Bernstein. It was kind of flat to me. There was nothing really compelling about it and Bradley Cooper overacts a bit.

Marlowe - Liam Neeson's 100th film is an old style mystery with some beautiful women, led by Diane Kruger, but not a lot of spark.

The Marsh King's Daughter - Your basic abduction film where the bad guy doesn't go away. Good to se Daisy Ridley, though.

The Marvels - Not the worst Marvel ever (umm, Morbius), but it is a confusing mess that is hard to focus in on despite likable characters individually.

Mercy - An Irish mob invades a hospital to find a colleague and a former Army doctor (Leah Gibson) goes Diehard to try and stop them. Would like to see Gibson in something better.

Mobland - The only reason for this movie might have been to put a cowboy hat on John Travolta, but the story of a botched robbery had a little value by the end.

Money Shot: The Pornhub Story - Documentary that tells a story you might not know, but wasn't as interesting as expected.

The Mother - Jennifer Lopez is an assassin trying to protect her daughter that she left due to circumstances many years earlier.

Murder Mystery 2 - Better than the original and a little more fun, but not by much. Melanie Laurent always makes things look better.

Narvik - Interesting account of the first lost battle by Hitler's German Army in the small Norwegian town. Kristine Hartgren is outstanding as the lead character.

NoWhere - A woman and her baby try to survive in a cargo compartment that has fallen off a ship on its way to Ireland. She and her husband attempted to escape Spain, but got separated. Far fetched.

The Nun II - A demon is on the loose in Europe and two nuns go out to try and stop her. It's not good, but I guess people who like these types of movies will find something in it.

Old Dads - Bill Burr stars as an older father, who goes through some things along with his two friends with young wives or girlfriends. It's potential was not realized.

On a Wing and a Prayer - Dennis Quaid and Heather Graham in a predictable airplane drama, but it was harmless enough.

Ordinary Men - Documentary about the German soldiers that carried out Nazi scum orders during the Holocaust. Hard to follow.

Paint - Owen Wilson plays a popular local artist with a TV show, whose world changes when a more talented young artist arrives. It's predictable and mildly entertaining.

Paradise - In a futuristic society, years of life are sold. A connected man tries to save his wife, who has lost 40 years because she put it up as collateral and lost it.

The Pod Generation - Emilia Clarke stars in a futuristic film about a society where rich couples can have their babies developed in a pod outside the womb. The story had potential, but is ultimately a little flat.

Rare Objects - The story of a woman trying to put her life together after sexual trauma. Katie Holmes plays her rich friend, who ends up having worse problems. Script is not very good.

R.M.N. - A story of awful ethnic tensions in a small Transylvanian mountain town when a local business brings in workers from Southeast Asia.

Rock Hudson: All That Heaven Allowed - Somewhat interesting documentary about the great actor, who somehow hid his gay lifestyle.

The Royal Hotel - Two young Canadian women travel to Australia to get away, and take a job as bartenders in a remote location. Julia Garner should have passed on this mess.

Shazam: Fury of the Gods - The follow up to Shazam! finds the lead hero working with his adoptive family against very evil creatures. It's not as good as the original.

Sharper - Circular thriller about con men battling each other with a rather surprising ending, but it doesn't quite become compelling enough to me.

Sick of Myself - Norwegian film about a pretty young woman who is so depressed about her life that she takes a drug that makes her sick and gets her noticed. Poor film about bad people, but unique.

Simulant - AI revolution film on Hulu did not get very compelling. Always nice to see Jordana Brewster, though.

Skinamarink - Unique and inventive horror story that ultimately is way too vague to be scary and compelling in my opinion. You can't really see anything, but that was the plan.

Somebody I Used To Know - Your basic made for TV drama, but Allison Brie lights up the screen to make it watchable.

Spinning Gold - Biopic about Neil Bogart and the rise and fall of Casablanca Records. Kiss and Donna Summer are prominent. It's just not real compelling or unique.

To Catch a Killer - Shailene Woodley plays a young cop who investigates a unique mass murder, which leads her to dangerous situations. Love Shailene, but it's not a good film.

Transformers: The Age of Beasts - Another chapter in the series of movies with Anthony Romano (In the Heights) taking the lead. 

True Spirit - Based on a true story of 16-year-old Jessica Watson, who attempts to circumvent the globe in a sailboat. It was fine, but didn't grab me.

The Tutor - Strange thriller about an everyday tutor with a beautiful girlfriend (Victoria Justice), who is pulled into a drama that reveals an ugly secret about his past. 

Vindicta - Your basic serial killer drama, but it has a twist that keeps it out of the bottom. Elena Kampouris absolutely lights up the screen as a young hero, too.

When You Finish Saving the World - Juliane Moore stars as an flawed mother trying to communicate with her awkward, coming-of-age son. It's basically about loading your expectations on others - a decent concept, but it just doesn't click completely.

Wish - Disney cartoon with rehashed ideas about a corrupt kind keeping wishes from his subjects to remain in power. The chicken song is kind a cute.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - Short Wes Anderson film about a man who could see without using his eyes. Good cast, a few laughs, nothing more.

You People - Eddie Murphy, Jonah Hill and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss in a multi-cultural rom-com that has a nice ending.

Your Place or Mine - Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher in a mild rom-com for netflix that gets a little better as time goes on.

97 minutes - Your basic highjacked airplane action thriller, with a bit of a twist near the end and a pretty blonde (MyAnna Buring) landing the thing.

Air Ball From Worst Movie Of 2023

 

By Mark Pukalo

It was a great year for movies overall. Even some of the high-profile films I didn't enjoy had some redeeming qualities.

Films such as Saltburn, Maestro, Skinamarink, Society of the Snow, A Haunting in Venice and Beau is Afraid featured a few good moments, some style or uniqueness and superior acting. I just didn't like them anywhere close to the way many critics did. But they were not annoying enough to make worst list.

Movies like Baby Ruby, Good Burger 2, The Retirement Plan, The Machine, Mafia Mamma, Moving On and My Happy Ending all had some stars in them and are not recommended. I just wasn't mean enough to put them on the worst 15.

It is hard to believe a sports movie ended up being my pick for the worst of the worst.

I honestly felt sorry for the lead actor (Everett Osborne) in "Sweetwater." He tried. Jeremy Piven tried, too, as Joe Lapchick. But the script and the direction was just so bad. Some of the horror films might have had my head spinning. But the basketball action in "Sweetwater" was some of the worst in any sports film ever.

The only saving grace for Sweetwater? Last year's pick "Dashcam" was way worse.

I'm doing something different this year. I will reveal my Best of 2023 list in sections. Next up will be watchable, then low honorable mention, medium honorable mention and high honorable mention. Following those will be the top 31, including Joe Lunardi's first six out. I hope Joe doesn't mind me using his name again, but it fits. LOL.

To go along with the worst 15, here is a list of the films just one level up and not worth your time. I have to say I was being nice by keeping "The Retirement Plan" off the worst 15. I recently watched the Nic Cage movie and it was truly awful. The ending was absolutely head scratching.

Here's some more to avoid.

Barely Passable (Very, very few redeemable things)

AKA - An agent on an undercover mission, with some crooked bosses, helps the son and daughter of a man he is investigating. 

Aporia - A confusing, uninspiring time travel story as a wife (Judy Greer) tries to change history and bring back her husband.

Asterix & Obelix: The Middle Kingdom - Silly medieval comedy about two old friends who try to help a princess in China.

Baby Ruby - A woman deals with Post-Partum Depression. Kit Harrington (Jon Snow) is the baby daddy in this well-acted, but weird, confusing film.

Black Book - Nigerian crime drama with a minister trying to avenge the murder of his son by a former ruthless boss.

Blood & Gold - A young Jewish woman saves a deserting German soldier as Nazis try to find hidden gold in the area.

The Boogeyman - Your basic scare-em up film with a little family and school drama as a neat backdrop. Nothing new.

Cobweb - A young boy tries to investigate the knocking sounds inside the walls of his house, which unveils a sinister secret kept by his evil parents.

Good Burger 2 - A little slapstick goofiness aside, the Kenan Thompson comedy is not really worth the time it takes to watch it.

Insidious: The Red Door: Another in the series. Didn't see the others, but I'm sure they are all the same - bad demon, a past that keeps coming back. It has enough depth to stay out of the bottom.

The Last Kingdom: Seven Kings Must Die - You kind of needed to see the Last Kingdom TV series. The epic drama didn't move me.

The Lesson - Weird movie about a tutor who is hired by a rich family to work with their son. It was not compelling or unique at all.

Locked In - Didn't like this crime, mystery drama about some really bad people much at all. The only thing that made it watchable for a few moments is that Rose Williams is pretty. 

Luther: The Fallen Sun - Idris Alba is a damaged cop going after a serial killer. Storyline is just not good enough.

The Machine - A few laughs from comedian Bert Kreischer and Mark Hamill, but not many in this Russian mafia story.

Mafia Mamma - Toni Collette quickly moves from a regular woman to a mafia princess when she visits Italy for her grandfather's funeral. It's a mess.

Miranda's Victim - Based on a true story about the things a rape victim went through after her attack. Just a shabbily-done film about a serious subject.

Moving On - Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda fumble through a poor script which centers around two old friends attending a third's funeral.  

My Happy Ending - Love seeing Andie McDowell again, but the movie about a popular actress at a cancer hospital does not have much to it. In fact, it was annoyingly bad.

Of An Age - A disjointed gay love story. The characters aren't particularly believable.

The Old Way - Nic Cage in a substandard Western, but it had a few ok moments. Little Ryan Kiera Armstrong is cute in her role.

The Out-Laws - Criminal in-laws Ellen Barkin and Pierce Brosnan visit their daughter and her husband for the first time and there are few laughs.

The Pope's Exorcist - Russell Crowe's depiction of a different kind of exorcist saves this film from the bottom list.

The Retirement Plan - This is a real mess of a movie with Nic Cage as a former government assassin coming back to help his family survive against evil forces. The premise was good, but the execution was downright terrible.

The Ritual Killer - A serial killer is on the loose and Dr. Mackles (Morgan Freeman) tries to help the police. He doesn't really do it.

River Wild - Estranged brother and sister go on a rafting trip with a nasty guy and - surprise - bad things end up happening.

Run Rabbit Run - A fertility doctor must confront an ugly incident in the past when her daughter suddenly reminds her of it and unloosens a screw in her head.

Shotgun Wedding - Josh Duhamel and J-Lo in a disjointed wedding caper with a lot of violence and very little humor.

Supercell - Storm chaser story with Alec Baldwin and Anne Heche isn't particularly good, but is not next level awful.

Transfusion - An Iraq veteran battles PTSD and taking care of his son, who survived a crash that killed a wife and unborn child.

Ok, these 15 are even worse. 

Dishonorable Mention : The Civil Dead (lack of humor in a ghost story), The Devil Conspiracy (mindless devil action), Gold Brick (Didn't get it), Jungle (Korean Sci-Fi story about AIs that was hard to follow),  Noise (Netflix film about a young couple that moves into a family house before finding out a deep dark secret).

WORST 10 of the Year

10. Enys Men  - Beautifully shot movie about nothing. I kept waiting for something to happen.

9. Maggie Moore(s) - Dumb murder/caper movie with a great cast, including Tina Fey and Jon Hamm. Hard to believe it could be this bad.

8. The Price We Pay - Awful crime drama with really, really bad people. Attractive Gigi Zumbado probably saves it from being in the top five.

7. Children of the Corn - Sinister kids in Iowa take over a town and try to kill all the elders in a touch up of the 2020 film. Heck, it could happen. I guess this film was re-issued. Didn't know. But it was in theaters in 2023.

6. Consecration - Another one of those religious horror films. This one was especially baffling. Even Jena Malone looking cute as ever couldn't help.

5. Magic Mike's Last Dance - Oh man, could not stay with this one. I mean, you get $60,000 to dance for Salma Hayek? Free from me. Sorry. 

4. The Strays - Two young African-American kids come back to terrorize their mother, who abandoned them years earlier to take on a new identity as a white person. Yes, really.

3. Evil Dead Rise - Don't understand the use for movies like this, but they keep making them and banking money, so I guess that's why. I tried, but I really couldn't follow it.

2. Nefarious - Laughable two-man show on death row. It was ultimately a God squad film. Who knew?

1. Sweetwater - A horribly-done depiction of Nat "Sweetwater" Clifton as he became the first black man to sign a contract in the NBA. The film is an embarrassment to basketball.

PREVIOUS WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR

2022 - Dashcam

2021 - False Positive

2020 - Dolittle

2019 - Cold Pursuit

2018:  Mile 22

2017 - Mother!

2016 - 13 Hours and Hail Caesar!

2015 - Chappie

2014 - The Monuments Men

2013 - The Place Between the Pines

2012 - Cloud Atlas

2011 - Tree of Life

Best Movie Quotes 2023

 

By Mark Pukalo

You use them all the time in daily life. Great movie lines. They live with us forever.

You can't handle the truth.

Show me the money!

Lighten up Francis.

Vegas Baby!

There are so many.- short and long - movie lines and quotes which evoke a time, a place, a vision. How many times have people who watched Caddyshack said "I don't think the hard stuff is coming down for awhile" when it is pouring outside?

The year 2023 featured dozens of great movies and a lot of memorable, smart, funny, crude (and funny) lines and quotes. I know I missed some, but here's a sampling of some of the best.

THE CRUDE (Sorry)

"Shitballs" - Ken Griffin from Dumb Money

"Where my pussy at?" Harmony from Dumb Money

"Fuck Ken Griffin!" Jennifer from Dumb Money

". ... the fuck." - female cop in Jules when watching three senior citizens scooping up a dead cat in the road to give to their Alien friend to fuel his ship.

"I've had sex with a guy to get out of playing Settlers of Catan" Maddie from No Hard Feelings

"I've had sex with a guy on a first date because I thought he was going to kill me." Sara from No Hard Feelings

HONORABLE MENTION

"Stick to your plan. Anticipate. Don't Improvise. Trust no one." - The Killer from The Killer

"The universe has sent you a gift, and you have to figure out what to do with it." - Rudy in The Blue Beetle

"I think we know we're living a lie. An agreed upon mass delusion to help us ignore and keep ignoring how awful we really are." - Amanda Sandford from Leave the World Behind

"Love has a plan for each and every one of us" - Celine Dion from Love Again

"Keep your expectations low, and you'll never be disappointed." - Gracie from May December

"This is what grownups do." Elizabeth Berry from May December

"What I learned about religion, is that it makes people fight." - Margaret from Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret.

"If you leave something behind, you gain something, too." Nora's mother in Past Lives

"You make my life so much bigger, and I wonder if I do the same thing for you?" - Arthur from Past Lives

"Whoever we contacted. They followed us." - from Talk to Me

"There's a natural goodness born into us all. You can either cross that line into evil or not. And it's our life's work to stay on the right side of that line" - Lucy Gray in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

"I find the world a bitter and complicated place, and it seems to feel the same way about me." - Paul Hunham from The Holdovers

"My beloved raccoon. This story has been yours all along, you just didn't know it." - Lylla from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

"Britney Spears and Korn." - little blonde clone girl from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 when asked of her favorite artists

"Money can buy you almost anything. It can't buy you immortality. That you have to earn." - Sonny Vaccaro in Air

"Time. It's not what you think it is. It's a cage. And it does everything it can to break you. It's not until you free yourself from it that you see just how small it always was." - Kang the Conqueror from "Quantumania

"Then we're the same. We can't go to Heaven. Because you're not good, and I'm not a person." Alphie from The Creator

"Nine seconds. That's what you have to decide your fate" Robert McCall in the Equalizer III

"Mom. This is Rebecca, and she's in charge." Hal from Sanctuary

"They won't fear it until they understand it. And they won't understand it until they've used it. Theory will take you only so far." - Robert Oppenheimer from Oppenheimer

"Genius is no guarantee of wisdom." - Lewis Strauss from Oppenheimer

""Embrace the light while it burns because it won't always last forever." Ember from Elemental

"You can't go your whole life scared of everything." - Maddie from No Hard Feelings

"We live and die in the shadows, for those we hold close, and for those we've never met." Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible

"I just want to say three things. One, never ever give up. Two, you're never too old to chase your dreams. And three, it looks like a solitary sport, but it takes a team." - Diana Nyad from Nyad.

"Sometimes being in love is lonelier than being alone." Anna from Fingernails

"That's a good song choice. I totally believe her as a French prostitute." Amos from Theater Camp

"The entire city just wanted to move on. Nobody bothered to get the truth. And people got away with murder." - Loretta McLaughlin from The Boston Strangler\

"I hate myself when I'm out there. But in here, when I'm with you, I'm exactly who I want to be." - Rebecca from Sanctuary

"You don't care about feminism. Your favorite show is Entourage!" - Josie from Bottoms.

"The fact is, I don't drive just to get from A to B. I enjoy feeling the car's reactions, becoming part of it." - Enzo Ferrari from Ferrari

"Sorry, I don't share electronics until the third date." - Hadley from Love at First Sight

"I knew it was secret. But I also knew I had pledged service to the American people." - Reality Winner in Reality

"Gardening is a belief in the future. A belief that things will happen according to plan. That change will come in its due time." - Narvel Roth from Master Gardener

BEST 20

"Sometimes a couple is kind of a chaos and everybody is lost. And sometimes we fight together, and sometimes we fight alone, and sometimes we fight against each other. - Sandra Voyter in Anatomy of a Fall

"Money is its own form of sickness." - Bella from Poor Things.

"It's the things we love the most that destroy us." - President Snow from The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

"If we desire a society of peace, then we cannot achieve such a society through violence." - Bayard Rustin in Rustin

"In an insane world, it is the sane who are called crazy." Lumalee from The Super Mario Brothers Movie

"I am the first to admit when I make a mistake. But I never do." Napoleon from Napoleon

"Evil surrounds my heart. Many times. I cry, and this evil around my heart comes out of my eyes. I close my heart and keep what is good there, but hate comes." - Mollie from Killers of the Flower Moon

"Real love is about finding someone who will hold your hand when life gets rough." - Hadley in Love at First Sight

"If we want to survive, we must damage and dismantle CO2-emitting devices, demolish them, burn them, blow them up. Let those who profit from mass death know their properties will be trashed. They will defame us and claim this was violence or vandalism, but this was justified. This was an act of self-defense." Xochiti from How to Blow up a Pipeline

"You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep." - from Asteroid City

"Down here in 1:87 scale, the lovers always kiss, the neighbors are always kind, and the trains always take you to the far-off places you always swore you'd go. In life, of course, nothing is nearly as neat and tidy." - Daniel in A Good Person

"This is where we ended up. This is where I'm supposed to be." - Nora from Past Lives

"We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they've come." Ruth from Barbie

"Ever since I was a child, people said my family was cursed. Mom tried to protect us with God. Pop tried to protect us with wrestling. He said if we were the toughest, the strongest, nothing could ever hurt us. I believed him. We all did." - Kevin Von Erich from the Iron Claw

"A shoe is always just a shoe until someone steps into it." - Rob Strasser from Air

"You're an American Prometheus. The man who gave them the power to destroy themselves." - Niels Bohr from Oppenheimer

"I'm from Waterloo, where the vampires hang out." - Jim Balsille from BlackBerry

"Geniuses are loners because they can't connect with the rest of us." Agnes Ellison from American Fiction

"Tear sticks are doping for actors. ... Do you want to be the Lance Armstrong of Theater?" - Rebecca Diane from Theater Camp

"If you truly want to understand the present, or yourself, you must begin in the past. You see, history is not simply the study of the past. It is an explanation of the present." Paul Hunham from The Holdovers

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