By Mark Pukalo
When the coveted Oscars are handed out next month, I will have seen at least 290 movies from the year 2023.
It was one of the best of the last 10 years for depth of good or great films. There was also a group of movies that had a few redeeming moments, some nice performances or scenes, but I could not recommend to the average fan.
Best Picture nominee "Maestro" is in this grouping for me, along with the inventive "Skinamarink," beautiful Brie Larson in "The Marvels," and the wacky and occasionally hilarious "Dicks: The Musical." The 63 movies slotted in this category are not bad films and might hit other movie goers better. I just stopped short of sliding them into the lowest honorable mention spot.
The best of these include Ron Perlman's powerful lead character in "The Baker'" the ending of "Book Club: The Next Chapter," the feel-good moments in "Dog Gone," LeBron's house being damaged in "House Party," John Travolta wearing a cowboy hat in "Mobland," the weirdness of "Sick of Myself," and Elena Kampouris' performance in "Vindicta."
Here's the rest of the lowest 112 in 2023. (see worst of 2023 on a previous blog).
Watchable (Only if it's free and you're a movie freak) - 69
A Haunting in Venice - Kind of a snoozer, but it has some star power. Lost interest in this mystery early and did not really care "who done it" by the end.
American Cherry - Psycho drama about a young woman dealing with a split-up family and a drunk mother while dating a boy who is more unstable mentally than she thinks. It's a bit too strange.
Assassin - A man dies due to a secret military project gone wrong and his wife is used to find out what happened. Sharp twist at the end saves it from being in a lower category.
The Baker - Ron Perlman is a elderly baker with some special skills, who goes after bad guys to help save his cute grand daughter (Emma Ho).
Big George Foreman - Story about the former Heavyweight Champion of the World is kinda Disney-like and ordinary. Probably would have been better as a documentary.
Book Club: The Next Chapter - Lots of fluff in this old girls go to Italy fling, but it had a pretty good ending.
Champions - Woody Harrelson coaches a team of down's syndrome basketball players and predictable things happen.
Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget - The chickens broke out in the last movie. They break into the farm this time to save their own. It's likable enough.
The Conference - Swedish slasher movie centering around a team-building trip for municipal employees.
Corner Office - Weird black comedy with Jon Hamm narrating his own strange office worker character. Reminded a bit of "Being John Malkovich," but not anywhere near as good.
Crypto Boy - Young man, estranged from his proud father, gets involved in a scheme around crypto currency.
Dicks: The Musical - So over-the-top goofy that it is quite humorous at times. I give them credit for the courage to make a comedy so crude and crazy.
Dog Gone - A father and son repair their relationship while searching for the family's beloved dog. It's afternoon special worthy and the dog is cool.
Emily - The story of Emily Bronte, the author of "Wuthering Heights," and her amazing imagination within her shy nature and sheltered upbringing.
Family Switch - Jennifer Garner and Ed Helms switch bodies with their kids for some mystical reason and it causes a few laughs, but not as many as you'd think.
Fear the Night - Some girls using a house for a bachelorette party are attacked by robbers. It's always fun watching Maggie Q kill nasty men, but not much of a movie.
The Flash - Not as bad as Morbius at least. It had a few fun moments, but this was not an enjoyable Marvel film.
Foe - Weird movie with two fine actors - Saoirse Ronan and Paul Mescal. A stranger shows up at the door of a couple and gives them an offer they literally can't refuse. It's about relationships, but it just gets too vague and confusing.
Fool's Paradise - Great cast, a few laughs, but not nearly enough to make it entertaining. Kate Beckinsale looks fabulous as usual, though.
Golda - Helen Mirren is great as former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir, but the movie is not super interesting as a history piece.
The Good Mother - Hillary Swank plays a mother dealing with the death of a her son. She figures out her other son - a cop - could have been part of why he was killed. It's not clear enough what is going on.
Happy Ending - A couple going through sexual issues decide to have a threesome with a spirited woman and it causes more problems. The characters are less interesting than the premise.
Haunted Mansion - Harmless Disney movie with a really good cast as a dream team tries to fix a ghost problem at Rosario Dawson's home.
House Party - Remix of the 90s classic is likable enough, but not particularly funny. It's cool they messed up LeBron's house, though.
Hypnotic - Mind-bending, somewhat confusing, story about a a rogue government agent using hypnotics to commit crimes. Ben Affleck is in the lead role with a twist.
Inside - Willem DaFoe's virtual one-man show as an art thief who gets locked into his victim's apartment and cannot get out. DaFoe is great, but it never really makes you care.
Kandahar - Recycled story line with Gerard Butler on the run, this time with the Middle East as a background.
Knights of the Zodiac - A passable fantasy adventure for a young man who tries to protect Athena while attempting to find his lost sister.
Lewis Capaldi: How I'm Feeling Now - Documentary about the Scottish artist was not as good as his songs.
Maestro - Terrific acting and well-shot movie based on the life of composer Leonard Bernstein. It was kind of flat to me. There was nothing really compelling about it and Bradley Cooper overacts a bit.
Marlowe - Liam Neeson's 100th film is an old style mystery with some beautiful women, led by Diane Kruger, but not a lot of spark.
The Marsh King's Daughter - Your basic abduction film where the bad guy doesn't go away. Good to se Daisy Ridley, though.
The Marvels - Not the worst Marvel ever (umm, Morbius), but it is a confusing mess that is hard to focus in on despite likable characters individually.
Mercy - An Irish mob invades a hospital to find a colleague and a former Army doctor (Leah Gibson) goes Diehard to try and stop them. Would like to see Gibson in something better.
Mobland - The only reason for this movie might have been to put a cowboy hat on John Travolta, but the story of a botched robbery had a little value by the end.
Money Shot: The Pornhub Story - Documentary that tells a story you might not know, but wasn't as interesting as expected.
The Mother - Jennifer Lopez is an assassin trying to protect her daughter that she left due to circumstances many years earlier.
Murder Mystery 2 - Better than the original and a little more fun, but not by much. Melanie Laurent always makes things look better.
Narvik - Interesting account of the first lost battle by Hitler's German Army in the small Norwegian town. Kristine Hartgren is outstanding as the lead character.
NoWhere - A woman and her baby try to survive in a cargo compartment that has fallen off a ship on its way to Ireland. She and her husband attempted to escape Spain, but got separated. Far fetched.
The Nun II - A demon is on the loose in Europe and two nuns go out to try and stop her. It's not good, but I guess people who like these types of movies will find something in it.
Old Dads - Bill Burr stars as an older father, who goes through some things along with his two friends with young wives or girlfriends. It's potential was not realized.
On a Wing and a Prayer - Dennis Quaid and Heather Graham in a predictable airplane drama, but it was harmless enough.
Ordinary Men - Documentary about the German soldiers that carried out Nazi scum orders during the Holocaust. Hard to follow.
Paint - Owen Wilson plays a popular local artist with a TV show, whose world changes when a more talented young artist arrives. It's predictable and mildly entertaining.
Paradise - In a futuristic society, years of life are sold. A connected man tries to save his wife, who has lost 40 years because she put it up as collateral and lost it.
The Pod Generation - Emilia Clarke stars in a futuristic film about a society where rich couples can have their babies developed in a pod outside the womb. The story had potential, but is ultimately a little flat.
Rare Objects - The story of a woman trying to put her life together after sexual trauma. Katie Holmes plays her rich friend, who ends up having worse problems. Script is not very good.
R.M.N. - A story of awful ethnic tensions in a small Transylvanian mountain town when a local business brings in workers from Southeast Asia.
Rock Hudson: All That Heaven Allowed - Somewhat interesting documentary about the great actor, who somehow hid his gay lifestyle.
The Royal Hotel - Two young Canadian women travel to Australia to get away, and take a job as bartenders in a remote location. Julia Garner should have passed on this mess.
Shazam: Fury of the Gods - The follow up to Shazam! finds the lead hero working with his adoptive family against very evil creatures. It's not as good as the original.
Sharper - Circular thriller about con men battling each other with a rather surprising ending, but it doesn't quite become compelling enough to me.
Sick of Myself - Norwegian film about a pretty young woman who is so depressed about her life that she takes a drug that makes her sick and gets her noticed. Poor film about bad people, but unique.
Simulant - AI revolution film on Hulu did not get very compelling. Always nice to see Jordana Brewster, though.
Skinamarink - Unique and inventive horror story that ultimately is way too vague to be scary and compelling in my opinion. You can't really see anything, but that was the plan.
Somebody I Used To Know - Your basic made for TV drama, but Allison Brie lights up the screen to make it watchable.
Spinning Gold - Biopic about Neil Bogart and the rise and fall of Casablanca Records. Kiss and Donna Summer are prominent. It's just not real compelling or unique.
To Catch a Killer - Shailene Woodley plays a young cop who investigates a unique mass murder, which leads her to dangerous situations. Love Shailene, but it's not a good film.
Transformers: The Age of Beasts - Another chapter in the series of movies with Anthony Romano (In the Heights) taking the lead.
True Spirit - Based on a true story of 16-year-old Jessica Watson, who attempts to circumvent the globe in a sailboat. It was fine, but didn't grab me.
The Tutor - Strange thriller about an everyday tutor with a beautiful girlfriend (Victoria Justice), who is pulled into a drama that reveals an ugly secret about his past.
Vindicta - Your basic serial killer drama, but it has a twist that keeps it out of the bottom. Elena Kampouris absolutely lights up the screen as a young hero, too.
When You Finish Saving the World - Juliane Moore stars as an flawed mother trying to communicate with her awkward, coming-of-age son. It's basically about loading your expectations on others - a decent concept, but it just doesn't click completely.
Wish - Disney cartoon with rehashed ideas about a corrupt kind keeping wishes from his subjects to remain in power. The chicken song is kind a cute.
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - Short Wes Anderson film about a man who could see without using his eyes. Good cast, a few laughs, nothing more.
You People - Eddie Murphy, Jonah Hill and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss in a multi-cultural rom-com that has a nice ending.
Your Place or Mine - Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher in a mild rom-com for netflix that gets a little better as time goes on.
97 minutes - Your basic highjacked airplane action thriller, with a bit of a twist near the end and a pretty blonde (MyAnna Buring) landing the thing.
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